Garden sheds: the world's most bizarre uses — and why yours should just store the lawnmower
By the Bell and Paton Team | Laser Park, Gauteng
The humble garden shed. It was designed for one thing: storing the lawnmower, the rake, three broken hose reels you cannot bring yourself to throw away, and a bag of fertiliser from 2019. And yet, somehow, the world has decided that a garden shed is a canvas for human ambition in all its gloriously peculiar forms. Let us take a brief tour of what people around the world have done with their sheds — and then gently suggest that none of these problems will occur with a Bell and Paton garden shed. Mainly because ours cost a fraction of what these people spent.
1. The British pub shed — R180,000 worth of warm beer
In the United Kingdom, an entire cottage industry exists around building replica pubs inside garden sheds. These "she-sheds" and "man caves" come fitted with optics, bar stools, chalkboard menus, and enough vintage beer signage to make your eyes water. One particularly enthusiastic gentleman in Yorkshire reportedly spent the equivalent of R180,000 building a fully licensed pub in his back garden — only to discover that his wife had declared the actual garden off-limits to him after a disagreement about the petunias. He now drinks alone in his shed. In a pub. In Yorkshire. A Bell and Paton garden shed from R6,799 would have left him R173,201 to spend on something his wife might also enjoy.
2. The Japanese meditation pod — silence at R250,000
In Japan, bespoke cedar meditation sheds have become a status symbol among the urban professional class. Minimalist, beautifully crafted, and priced somewhere between a small car and a large car, these structures are designed to provide a space of pure silence. The irony is that the owners spend so much time worrying about the finance repayments that the silence is entirely theoretical. A Bell and Paton medium shed at R7,499 would provide all the silence you could ever need — and the money saved is enough for about forty years of therapy, which frankly achieves the same result.
3. The American recording studio shed — R400,000 of untapped musical talent
Across America, the "backyard recording studio shed" has become a phenomenon. Acoustically treated, climate controlled, fitted with professional mixing equipment, and used almost exclusively to record cover versions of Eagles songs that will never be heard by another human being. Companies in Nashville will build you one for upwards of R400,000. The neighbours will still hear you. The acoustics will still be wrong. And you will still not sound like Don Henley. A Bell and Paton large shed at R10,999 provides sufficient space for a guitar, an amplifier, and the quiet dignity of a man who knows his limits.
4. The Scandinavian sauna shed — sweating in style at R320,000
The Scandinavians, never ones to do anything by halves when it comes to wood and suffering, have exported the outdoor sauna shed to the rest of the world. A prefabricated Finnish sauna cabin will set you back R320,000 and upwards, requires a dedicated electrical supply, and is apparently essential for wellbeing in countries that experience actual winter. South Africa does not have this problem. If you are sweating in your garden shed, something has gone wrong. Our biggest shed — the Huge One at R16,999 — comes with four vents specifically to prevent this from happening.
5. The Airbnb shed — renting out your garden for R3,500 a night
This is perhaps the most audacious shed use of all. People across Cape Town, London, New York and Sydney have converted garden sheds into micro-accommodation and are listing them on Airbnb for R2,000 to R5,000 a night. Guests describe them as "cosy" and "bijou", which are both words that mean small. One London listing offers a shed described as a "garden retreat" for R3,800 a night. It has no bathroom. The reviews are largely positive, which says more about human optimism than it does about the accommodation. We at Bell and Paton have no comment on this business model, except to note that our sheds start from R6,799 and your guests will at least have somewhere to put their luggage.
What a Bell and Paton shed actually does — brilliantly, affordably, and without drama
Bell and Paton garden sheds are made from premium electro-galvanised steel, built for South African weather conditions, and priced for South African budgets. They do not come with a bar, a mixing console, a sauna stone, or a Scandinavian wellness philosophy. They come with sliding doors, ventilation, a reinforced frame, and the quiet satisfaction of having a proper place to put things.
The full Bell and Paton shed range:
• The Tiny One — 1.64m x 1m x 1.85m — from R2,999
• The Medium One — 1.96m x 1.1m x 1.84m — from R6,799
• The Large One — 2.49m x 1.85m x 1.84m — from R7,499
• The Big One — 3.2m x 2.5m x 1.95m — from R10,999
• The Huge One — 3.13m x 3.75m x 1.94m — from R12,999 to R16,999
All sheds are delivered nationwide. Professional assembly is available in Gauteng. No pub licence required.
Browse the full shed range at www.bellandpaton.co.za or contact us on 083 320 2922 to discuss which size suits your garden — and your storage ambitions, however modest they may be.